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Tue, Apr 4, 11:34 PM (5 hours ago)
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Hi .
We all know how frustrating it can be when communication breaks down with the people we care about most. Maybe you’ve had a misunderstanding with a friend, or an argument with a family member that has left you feeling hurt or disconnected. Whatever the situation, it’s never too late to take steps to improve your relationships with the people in your life. That said, I want to share with you three practical ways to strengthen your connections with loved ones and build healthier, happier relationships.
Listen Actively — Active listening is a powerful tool for improving communication and deepening relationships. When you listen actively, you’re fully present in the moment, giving your full attention to the other person and seeking to understand their perspective. To practice active listening, try the following:
Put away distractions like phones or computers
Make eye contact and use body language to show you’re engaged
Repeat back what you’ve heard to confirm understanding
Avoid interrupting or judging the other person’s thoughts and feelings
Show Appreciation — Expressing gratitude and appreciation is a simple but effective way to strengthen relationships and build trust. When you show appreciation, you’re acknowledging the other person’s value and contributions to your life. Some ways to show appreciation include:
Saying “thank you” for something specific
Complimenting the other person on their strengths or accomplishments
Doing something thoughtful or kind for them
Acknowledging their efforts or sacrifices
Practice Forgiveness — Conflict and hurt feelings are inevitable in any relationship. But learning to forgive can help you move past them and strengthen your connection with the other person. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning hurtful behavior, but it does mean choosing to let go of resentment and bitterness. Some tips for practicing forgiveness include:
Expressing your feelings in a calm, constructive way
Acknowledging the other person’s perspective and feelings
Making a commitment to move forward and rebuild trust
Letting go of the need to be right or have the last word
Johan, these are just a few examples of practical ways to improve your relationships with loved ones. If you’re interested in learning more, I highly recommend my book The 5 Love Languages. In it, you'll learn about the five different ways that people give and receive love, and how understanding these love languages can help you build stronger, more fulfilling relationships with the people in your life.
I hope these tips are helpful as you work to improve your relationships with friends and family. Remember, building strong, healthy relationships takes time and effort, but the rewards are immeasurable.
Could you use a little creativity in speaking love and appreciation to others? Here are a few suggestions to inspire you, sometimes with comments from our newsletter editor:
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: “I like to send ‘Good Morning’ messages to family and friends every morning. Sometimes it is a typed message, sometimes it's a message that someone shared with me, but a lot of the time it's a Bible image message. I don't just send the same message to everyone, I try to send something that is specific to that person—especially if I know that they are going through something and need support and encouragement.” —Fiona
ACTS OF SERVICE: “I usually am awake before my wife, so I try to get her toothbrush and toothpaste ready for her when she wakes up. It's a small gesture, but it lets her know I'm thinking about her right at the start of the day.” —Aaron
RECEIVING GIFTS: Next time you are in line at your local coffee shop, order a $5 gift card and pass it along to the person behind you as you leave. Let them know that you just wanted to pass along some good will. It is surprising how in the act of blessing someone else, we often experience joy ourselves.
QUALITY TIME: “I love quality time and think it's super important to have quality time with our kids, so often when my husband is working, I'll stick some music on and dance for at least 25 minutes with my 1-year-8-month old daughter. We have so much fun and it's great to hear her laugh and giggle and see her smile so big!! It's a great way to start out the day!” —Olivia
PHYSICAL TOUCH: “We've been married 26 years—I’m 59 he’s 67. Let’s just say ‘The honeymoon is over.’ I decided to surprise him during halftime with a little delight like we use to do many moons ago.” —Marlena
Now it's Your Turn! Send us your most creative, out-of-the-box suggestions for speaking one or more of the love languages (for couples, families, singles, friends, and colleagues). We'll choose some of the most creative, fun, or endearing suggestions and feature them in our upcoming newsletters. Click here to submit your suggestion.
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Q: Aren’t appreciation and recognition the same thing?
Many people, when they hear the word ‘appreciation’ at work, think immediately of employee recognition activities (like receiving an award or praising someone in front of a large group). While recognition and appreciation overlap at times, recognition primarily focuses on rewarding performance, like achieving a goal (or for years of service).
In contrast, appreciation focuses on the person—not only for what they accomplish, but for who they are. For example, we can show that we value a colleague for their dependability or their sense of humor. Another difference is that appreciation is a connection from person to person, rather than being tied to organizational position. Anyone can communicate appreciation to another coworker, even someone in a different department!
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